As Rain Falls
by desperatedelerium
Summary: From Hermione's point of view, during there third year .. God i hate summeries! Please read! Minerva x Hermione
1. When It Started

**This is taking place at the beginning of the 3****rd**** book, from Hermione's POV .. This is just the 1****st**** chapter .. I'll probably write more .. By the way it's probably going to be a femslash .. I'm not really sure yet how much though .. **

Her hair was in a tight top-knot, but it was last lesson and several strands had fallen elegantly across her slim face. I thought she was concentrating hard on marking, but she must have felt my eyes boring into her because she gave me a little questioning smile, I was too surprised to smile back and returned to reading the text on Animagi wizards.

'Alright everyone,' Professor McGonagall's clear English accent rang through the room; I knew she'd grown up in Scotland, but you would never have guessed from her voice. 'Kindly re-read chapters four and five, I'll be questioning you on both next lesson. Oh and Harry, I hope you don't mind me expecting the same from you; If Miss Sybil Trelawney's prediction _is_ proved right however you need not sit the test.' Some sniggers went through the class although most looked shocked at her relaxed view to Harry's recently announced death sentence. The class left as quickly as they could in groups, I tagged along after Ron and Harry, I I've never shared their dislike and boredom with the subject, I don't however think my regret of leaving the classroom every lesson it would go down without them questioning my sanity.

'Miss Granger, can I have a word?' called the Professor's clean voice from the opposite end of the room. I couldn't thin what she wanted me for, but arranged my face to look calm so she wouldn't deduce my eagerness. She waited until everyone had departed before asking; 'how's the time turner going so far? Is this your last lesson now?'

'Oh, erm' I mumbled stupidly, of course this was all she wanted to talk about, why was it not obvious? 'Yes this is my last lot of lessons, thank you again for allowing me the opportunity to use it. I had no idea how I was going to have the chance to take all my subjects.' She must think I'm so boring.

'Of course.' She said and nodded. 'I hardly think you would, but I hope you would never abuse the position you have with the time-turner.' I watched her studying my face as I nodded back, ignoring ideas that came to mind, suddenly made possible with the object. 'I don't doubt it'll get tiring for you as the term progresses, if you feel unable to keep up with all your classes perhaps you could let one or two of them go?' I looked straight into her dark green eyes and thought divination would be her first choice to drop as well, but she wouldn't elaborate into her more honest opinions.

'Oh no Professor, I like having so much to do.' She smiled slightly when I said this and gave another little nod.

'Well after hearing that I suppose …' she trailed off and said nothing for several seconds.

'Suppose what professor?' I prompted as my suddenly short patience came to an end.

'Actually maybe not, or at least … I might send you an owl at breakfast tomorrow, I'd have to clear it with the headmaster,' she pursed her lips as she considered what was on her mind. 'Yes that would be best, I'm sorry, you can go and eat now I'll let you know tomorrow.' I gave a last and headed for the common room, forgetting about wanting anything food-wise.

'Hermione! Hello?' I woke up face down on my four-poster bed, to find Lavender and Parvati standing over me with grins on their faces.

'My god Misey, it's only seven and you're fast asleep!' Parvati exclaimed I'd slowly become accustomed to them calling me 'Misey' for a while now; I'm not sure why they found it necessary to give me such a nickname but left it alone.

'Are you sick? I don't think I saw you at dinner.' Lavender asked looking me up and down.

'Erm no, I'm alright thank-you.' I replied smoothing down my hair that had probably gone slightly wild as I'd slept.

'Ok then.' Parvati said apparently losing interest departed, closely followed by her friend. I sat up in a more dignified sitting position and cleared traces of sleep from my eyes then lifted Crookshanks slung my school bag over my arm and made my way down to the common room deciding to do my astronomy homework.

As I walked down the narrow spiralled staircase memories of the recent dream trickled back to me. I stopped abruptly as I oddly vividly recalled the strange emotions that had consumed me during my trance but what really got me was who I was feeling them for. I swallowed, perhaps I was still half asleep. But I knew I wasn't. So how could I possibly be crushing on Professor Minerva McGonagall? I decided I probably was a little sick and turned around straight for my dorm-room.

**Thanks for reading! ****Short I know .. Please review .. I'm not sure how the story line's going to go .. Any ideas and criticism are welcome! **


	2. Confusion

**Confusion.**

'I'm fine.' I said for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

'Well you don't look fine.' Ron muttered doubtfully.

'Look just drop it can you?' I snapped, I thought I'd done a good job of masking my emotions but perhaps I'm not as good an actress as I thought. We were waiting outside transfiguration and honestly, I didn't think I wanted to see the head of Gryffindor just now, she hadn't sent me anything after all, I don't know what I was expecting … but I couldn't stop myself feeling genuinely disappointed.

I had to keep shaking my head because it kept filling up too high with thoughts I wouldn't let myself consider. Professor McGonagall was just so –

'In you come,' came a voice that made my head turn so fast I cricked my neck, 'ah Miss Granger,' she said handing me a folded piece of parchment.

'Thanks,' I mumbled and slipped thorough the open door without looking at her. I sat down and ignoring Harry and Ron's questioning looks from down the table glanced down at the letter which said;

_Miss Granger,_

_You have been a consistently bright and a model pupil and I therefore,__hold no hesitation to offer you extra lessons that I'm sure you could __benefit from. I know you grasp difficult spells and concepts in class with ease, __and I'd like to see how far a level you're capable of, of course Animagi training will __probably be a little too advanced at your age. But you always surprise me. You are already taking more subjects __than any other student at Hogwarts, and If this is going to be too much for you I'd completely __understand, let me know what you think as soon as possible; I plan to hold them on a Thursday evening at __around seven thirty. Regardless of your interesting these lessons, I would very much appreciate you __not advertising this opportunity. As I'm sure you know the chance to change into an animal is an ambition of many __at Hogwarts. Though there are few who possess the talent_

_Your Sincerely Professor M. McGonagall._

I looked up at her and nodded extensively, my face I knew was glowing in thanks, she smiled politely back and I felt my stomach shiver. I swallowed and stared at the floor trying to concentrate on anything but my new found feelings for … her.

'Oh honestly he isn't really hurt!' I said under my by breath as Pansy Parkinson wiped a tear from her cheek.

'I see it as a blessing in disguise,' said a Slytherin I didn't know the name of; 'sure Draco suffered a terrible injury, but that'll be the last lesson we're taught by that prick.'

'What do you mean by that then?' Ron asked with passable aggression, but even the Gryffindors were looking at him as if he was slightly retarded.

'Well ginger,' said the same Slytherin as if he was explaining addition to a particularly slow four year-old; 'Draco's mummy and daddy are very rich people, and they won't be too impressed when they find out their son was placed in front of a monster that could slit him in two with one blow.'

'Come on,' I said striding up to the castle and motioning for Harry and Ron to follow.

'You don't think Hagrid really will be sacked do you?' Ron asked once we were out of ear-shot.

'He can't be,' Harry said, 'Hagrid told us not to go near the hippogriffs, Malfoy's was just stupid enough not to listen. If anything-

I didn't hear what he said after that though. I couldn't see anything around me. All my eyes would focus on was the tall dark haired woman move smoothly forward in front of me.

'What's wrong Hermione?' I pulled myself back in to the room and turned my head fearfully towards Ron.

'I think I'm going to be sick,' I choked out, and left them quickly. I ignored all the faces that looked around at me as I flew up to somewhere I could be alone, I had half a mind to make myself sick if my body wouldn't do it naturally.


	3. Things She Regretted

**Things She Regretted**

'Hmm … well I think my tea-leaves look a bit like the kippers served at breakfast this morning,' I said, not caring who heard me; 'perhaps I'm going to eat something in the next few hours … my this class is fascinating.' Ron and Harry grinned up at me from then rim of their cups, I forced a smile back in their direction, I was overcome with nerves, and I had _this _class last lesson on a Thursday! Well there was no way I was going to put any effort in now, I'm aware I have very slight patience with it even when my mind isn't heavily engaged with the apprehension caused by my unexplained first lesson with Professor McGonagall.

The so-called seer got up from her chair at Lavender and Parvati's table and made a bee-line for ours, gliding all the way (she did however trip half-way and it kind-of ruined her mysterious character.

'May I take a look … oh pristine one?' She asked evidently trying to look superior. I mock-sweetly handed her the mug containing my supposedly knowledgeable leaves. She peered long and hard into its depths while I waited without much patience. And just when I could stand it no longer she came out with; 'ahh interesting … it seems to be the sign for a broken heart … yes most definitely … well at least you're prepared now.' On the outside I rolled my eyes, but deep down my stomach shook. Almost everyone I respected knew Trelawney was a fraud, but this prediction seemed liable to be proved right.

It was seven thirty-five. My entire body began to shake as the long route to McGonagall's office came to an end. I didn't know why I was so scared. I didn't need to be … I hoped. I let out a long breath as if I'd been holding it for ages. I didn't want to do this right now. Not today, it was so much easier to just hide in the dormitories. But just as I was about to turn and high tail back to safe ground, the oak door in front of me was pulled open, and a slim face looked around at me.

'I was just coming out to look for you,' the woman before me said, 'are you quite alright? You look a little peaky.'

I opened my mouth as if I was going to say something, but my voice was swept away by the professor's enchanting presence. I managed to close my lips and nodded.

'You're ever so quiet you know.' She trilled making my heart beat faster than I was aware it could go. I gave her an unsteady little smile, not wanting to break her image of a serene, tranquil persona I wasn't aware I had. I could get through this so much easier if I didn't have to give voice throughout the session.

'Well if you'd like to come in then,' she continued turning and opening the door wider, with what I couldn't fail to see was an effortlessly fluid motion; like a dancer. I tip-toed in after her, hating myself for letting my mind be completely hypnotised from something so ridiculous. 'Okay,' she said in her perfect lucid tone, and I tried desperately to bring my head back in her pristine study; 'I thought I'd try you with vanishing objects, I am aware you've done it before, but not with animals I've got you an African land-snail which I'm sure you know, is an invertebrate and therefore easier to disappear than vertebrates, I do however have mouse if you find it too easy.'

I nodded, finding 'yes' a lot more complicated than it normally is. If I was completely honest with myself, I was a little disappointed that all she wanted to talk about in these 'private' lessons was transfiguration. But I told myself that was perverse and that I shouldn't dwell on thoughts like these.

'Alright then,' she said briskly which made me hope I hadn't done anything to annoy her. 'I'm sure you remember the incantation but I'll show you anyway encase you've forgotten,' she withdrew a pale grey wand from her robes and bent over slightly to cast the spell, causing a little of her raven hair to fall out of its tight place, I had a sudden unfound temptation to stroke it back behind her ear. I only managed to stop myself when my hand was extended in-front her elegant face she turned her surprised-emerald-eyes on me before I could think of a reasonable excuse as to why I seemed all set to caress her faultless face. I stared hard into her eyes though it was obviously most unwise.

'I – I erm … I thought I saw something,' I squeaked gesturing stupidly in the air, before removing my hand sharply.

She held my gaze for a few long moments and then returned to her demonstration. I didn't even try to concentrate; I covered my mouth and squirmed with overwhelming embarrassment, I screwed up my eyes. I clenched my hands into tight fists allowing my fingernails to dig severely into my skin willing them to pierce it.

'Are you in pain or something?' Professor McGonagall asked in a faintly shocked voice.

I gave a little gasp and looked up, then straight down; mortified that she'd seen me react in such a way. 'I'm … I'm fine … thank-you,' I said my voice not coming out much above a whisper.

'Are you sure about that?' She asked looking definitely concerned now. 'Perhaps this really is too much for you.'

'Oh no of its course not, I'll be fine,' I spurted. I kicked myself after that, I couldn't believe I'd just had the perfect opportunity to leave and I turned it down. I suppose if was being properly truthful I'd realise I never had wanted to leave. But it would have been an easy alternative.

'Well then I'm sure you'll achieve this with ease,' she said stepping back and offered me the snail. I blinked at it for a second and then extracted my own wand; I swallowed and tried to focus. But it wasn't easy. I looked down at it and muttered the spell. Nothing happened. I coughed and tried again. But it stayed entirely visible. I felt my cheeks getting slowly pink, I tried to take a small calming breath, but it came out more like a panicked intake of breath. I tried once more to clear my mind but it had no effect, I cast the spell yet again and for a second I thought it had worked but only the very tip of the shell faded and was already coming back into view.

'I – I can't do it somehow.' I whispered feeling like I'd let her down in someway.

'Yes I realised.' She also said it softly, but her words still cut through me like icy daggers. 'Oh well it doesn't matter anyway … you don't seem yourself right now anyway … maybe you should go and get some rest.' It was so much easier to feign sickness than face things I knew I never wanted to face.

'Yes I'll do that,' I said standing up as straight as possible though my legs were shaking so much I thought I really might fall over. 'Goodnight professor,' I murmured, injecting as much fervour into the two words as I possibly could. I think she blinked in surprise, but perhaps I exaggerate every movement she makes. She lowered her head in return, and I scurried out of her office and up to Gryffindor common room before another word could be spoken.

I slipped past the students chatting in groups around the fire; I'd almost forgotten they'd be here. Minerva McGonagall's office seemed so far away, it seemed hours had passed while I was there. Like I was miles away from Hogwarts life. I was relived to find my dormitory completely deserted, I collapsed on top of the covers and sighed into the pillow. Something was pressing into my stomach, I reached into an inside pocket or my robes unfazed by what could be in there. Of course it was just the time-turner. I lay on my front for a few seconds before realizing a time-turner … could turn back time. I lifted my face and considered the concept … I could stop my self from going there altogether … was it really that bad though? Yes it was bad. It wouldn't be difficult.

But I couldn't. I'd promised her I wouldn't. And I couldn't … wouldn't break a promise for her.


	4. Consumed

Consumed

It was still dark when I woke, someone left the window wide open and although it was still September, the wind descending was that of mid-winter. I shivered and reached down my bed for the duvet that had been pushed to the end of it, shut the window and lay with my eyes open, watching the moonless sky. I wondered what time it was … It must have been nearly five because the darkness was thinning if only slightly. I lay on my back and squinted up at the ceiling, the thought of yesterday evening made me squirm all over. She would barely give me a second thought. I was a simple child. Her job. These statements where from my own head; they where things I should have known anyway, but they caught in my thought and my heartbeat grew quicker. My emotions had never been so volatile, they'd certainly never affected me physically; I now understood how people could get ill over such things.

I couldn't cope with my own thoughts any longer; I ran from my bed to the showers and turned it to the coldest setting. It was more than two minutes before I realised that I was fully dressed. 'Wow I've really cracked now,' I whispered to myself.'

'Hermione?' I jumped, I had no idea there was another person in the room. 'Hermione its Ginny, that is you isn't it?' I waited in silence hoping she'd just leave, but she stayed still – had she nothing better to do at the break of dawn?

'Erm … yes it is.' I stepped outside the cubicle.

'Are you alright?' she asked sounding a little shocked. The real answer was no I was not alright, and just then I had half a mind to tell her … but I couldn't, I couldn't tell anyone. 'What are you doing up so early anyway?'

'Why are you?' I asked stupidly.

She grinned, 'I forgot it was mum's birthday today, but I've just sent her an owl, it should reach her this evening if it's fast. Anyway, Ron and Harry said you'd been acting a bit differently lately, and after seeing you like this I think they might have been proved right.' Oh god even Harry and Ron new I was being a freak, perhaps I don't give them enough credit. 'I'm only joking! God sweetheart, you look like someone's just died.'

'Well they haven't don't worry.'

'Always good to hear, is the hot water not on yet? Only I rarely find the need to keep clothing on while washing.'

'Well aren't you a _barrel of laughs _this morning.' I said sarcastically.

'Yup sure am!' she said grinning so widely that her eyes arched.

I giggled for the first time in what felt like years, 'you look like someone out of a Japanese anime movie.'

'Huh?'

'Never mind … I'm going to get dressed, but I'll meet you in the great hall in twenty minutes for breakfast?'

'Indeed you shall,' she said imitating my over-expressive way of speaking. Today was going to be normal, I told myself; I had enough work to do without dwelling in my unstable emotions.

'Hermione, how did you get here so fast?' Harry asked, 'I thought you went back for something?' Oh no that bloody time-turner; I keep forgetting where I've been.

'Oh that, well I erm … I found a new route actually … there's a hidden staircase right next to the erm … the statue of Helga Hufflepuff.'

'Are you sure about that Hermione?' I spun round to see the Weasley twins looking faintly impressed, 'we never thought of looking there did we George?' George shook his head.

'Well, I'm not entirely sure if its there all the time,' I said quickly though I was speaking at random; 'perhaps I just got lucky.'

'Maybe,' said Fred or George no longer as interested as they were, 'well you children have fun with Snape.'

'Speak of the devil,' Ron muttered, Snape was somebody all students (except for the Slytherins) hated. That was certain, but I was glad of that now. I was glad I could just be like everyone else in some respect and I walked into the dungeons feeling a little better than I usually did.

If only it could have lasted. It was a practical lesson, and I preferred them to theory. I couldn't ever win with theory classes, if I knew the right answer it would irritate him, and if I pretended I didn't he'd make sure I never forgot it. This particular subject was shrinking solutions, easy enough and I made my own without fault. It was Neville's that was the problem, as sweet as Neville is he simply can't make a potion to save his life, (literally) Snape new this and thought it would be clever to give the mixture to the toad Neville insists on carrying everywhere he goes. Unfortunately I decided to help him, and that caused the potions master to take fifty points from Gryffindor and got me and Neville stuck in detentions.

'Hermione I'm really sorry,' he said as the class left, 'it's my fault you're in detention.'

'Of course it isn't,' I lied, 'Snape never is fair to Gryffindors, heaven knows why he's a teacher.'

'Have I heard correctly?' No said the voices in my head not Minerva – I mean McGonagall now … today was supposed to be normal.

'Yes Professor,' Harry said when I didn't reply, 'Hermione helped Neville out a little and Snape gave her a detention and took fifty points off.'

'Well that's ridiculous,' she said practically livid, 'I'll see what I can do.' She darted off to the dungeons … but not before placing a delicate hand on my shoulder. Harry Ron and Neville thought nothing of it and carried on walking, while I felt so faint I could collapse.

_**As always extremely short, I've been so busy lately I haven't had time to eat, let alone write. But reviews make me feel better! Thank-you to everyone who has so far. xx**_


	5. Detention

Detention

'Hey, have you seen?' Ron asked excitedly over breakfast the next morning, 'the first Hogsmeade trip's on Halloween.' Harry sighed into his porridge, 'oh, sorry mate, still no form?'

'Why, has he learnt a spell to pull one from the air?' I asked feigning admiration.

'God I was only asking, I thought you where good on sympathy.'

'I was joking, aren't you supposed to be good on that?'

'Shut up guys, you're not helping anyone,' Harry muttered from the sidelines.

Ron turned his attention back to Harry, 'what about asking McGonagall to sign it, you know she's head of house and everything plus she loves you for the whole quidditch thing.'

At first that statement sounded ridiculous, how could someone so intelligent admire somebody because they can ride a broomstick? But of course he had a point; there was something about quidditch that she loved, something I couldn't understand. I knew nothing about her in most ways, what reason did I have to become so obsessed so entirely?

'Hello in there? Gone back to sleep?' Ron called irritatingly, drumming his hands on the table. 'Neville's been trying to talk to you for the last five minutes.'

'It wasn't five minutes,' said Neville earnestly - I don't think he quite got sarcasm. 'Professor McGonagall got Snape to change his mind about taking points off.'

'Great,' I said, as if I cared about whether or not we won the stupid cup again.

'Yeah, we still have to do the detentions though. Only you've got yours with McGonagall, and I've got mine with him. You're lucky Hermione, she'll go well easy on you.'

'Why would she do that?' I asked the second he'd finished speaking.

'Well … she just will won't she?' Neville said hesitantly, 'I mean everyone knows you're her favourite pupil, right?'

Luckily the bell rang for first lesson before I needed a response … was I her favourite pupil? 'Yes' said a hopeful little voice at the back of my mind, 'you're the only one she smiles at, and you're the only one she wants to have in detention with her, and you're the only one worthy of her tutoring time.'

'Who are you smiling at?' Harry asked amused.

'Hmm?' I changed my expression. Harry just laughed and shook his head … who did he think I was smiling at?

'Hurry up we'll be late for Lupin.' Ron yelled over the noise of the numerous students all trying to fit through the double doors of the great hall.

'And he calls me a know it all!' I said so Ron couldn't hear.

'What is with you at the moment?' Harry asked, 'One minute you're depressed and snappy, the next you're back to normal.'

'You think so?' I asked trying to be surprised; I knew it was sudden how much of a hold she had on my emotions, but it was now near impossible to control.

--

Thirty five minutes and 56 seconds until I meet her. I kept changing my hair, putting on make-up then taking it off ... I couldn't help it I was impossibly nervous. All the while my insecurities and fantasies tearing at the back of my mind and my weak atempts at brushing them away.

'Okay,' I whispered to myself, 'you're going to be sweet, you're going to be calm and then she'll fall in love with you!' I sighed wishing it could work as easily as that.

The door of her classroom towered above me intimidaingly, I took a gasping breath and knocked at it quickly three times. There was no answer but I opened it anyway thinking she must have realised I was here.

I glanced around the room that was for the first time I'd seen entirely empty, I was about to walk out but something on her desk caught my eye. It was a thick aged book of blank parchment she'd obviously been writing in, for some reason I feltit had an air of something that shouldn't be read, but curiosity overtook me and I reached out it.

''_October 2nd 1974' _... a diary?' I whispered; 'she kept a diary?'

'Good evening Miss Granger,' her voice was calm and held no distinct emotion, but it made me flinch so violently I dropped the manuscript ... it grazed the still-lit-candle on her desk and landed with an impressive _thump_ on the grey stone floor.

'I didn't read it, I only -'

'Ninety Five,' she said as though she couldn't hear me.

'Hmm?' I squeaked.

'You will write _I will not interfere with the buisness of others_ ninety five times, in silence.' She stooped down picked up the smoking book and threw it severley into her desk draw. I sat at the desk closest to me and hastily began to write. I glanced at her pale face that was at this moment in a tight frown. I was so useless; I was a senseless child and she souldn't waste another second of her time on me.

But more seconds passed, and they quickly turned to minutes then an hour, even so I found myself taking time on every letter writing the words that had lost their meaning. Every so often I'd look up at her working, and every time I did I couldn't stop. I think she might have been ignoring me, but when she did meet my stare all I did was blush and glance back at my neatly columned page.

Another hour passed and I was fairly sure I'd passed her writing requirements, but I held no desire to leave until she made me.

It was passed midnight when I stepped out to the deserted halls.

* * *

_I actually do have an extremele valid reason for it taking so long this time! My laptop broke about about a month a go - and when I say broke I mean a highly impressive melt down - and as a result I'd lost all my files and anything I could use to type with. Anyway I am aware the last chapter was relatively cliched ... well ish, but please review anyway! x_


	6. Atonement

_Atonement_

'Stupid … Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.'

'You know you're many things Hermione, but stupid simply isn't one of them.' I looked up from the book I'd been tossing my head into to see Ginny smiling down at me. 'Now are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to force you?' She'd have to force me.

'I fucked up Ginny,' I moaned softly.

'Ooh, I've never heard _you _swear before!' she gasped irritatingly, 'now this _must _be bad.' She gave me a shake when I didn't respond, 'What is it … boy trouble?' she asked with a giggle; 'It _is _isn't it.'

'No!' I said perhaps a little too defensively, 'no, guys are idiots.'

She giggled again, 'well you'll understand when you're older.'

'Witty. Listen it's no big deal I've just … I've just upset Minerva that's all.'

'You've _what_?'

'I said –

'Minerva! Ha, bloody hell Hermione is there something you're not telling me?' _Yes_ there is actually, said a voice in my head.

'It just slipped out, I -

'Minnerrvaa, aww sweetheart you don't _like _her do you?' Okay that's not funny, how could she possibly have guessed?

'Don't be ridiculous,' I hissed at her.

'It's alright Hermione don't you hide your feelings!' She threw her hear back and laughed maddeningly.

'You're not funny Ginny,' I muttered, threw my books in my bag and strode out of the library before she could catch her breath. She was joking … she was only joking; I mean she was, wasn't she?

'Hermione!' She wasn't far behind me and she was running, I sped up too but she was far better than me athletically and grabbed my waist so I had to stop.

'Hey, It's alright I'm sorry.' She said it sincerely and weakened to her, 'of course you don't _like _her; you're sweet as sugar Miss Granger! I know you.'

Except of course she didn't know me; I wasn't sweet I was sour … I was sour as milk.

She led me into an alcove behind a tapestry on the wall next to us.

'So what have you done to upset … McGonagall?' She asked with some empathy.

'Well I'm sure she isn't really upset, I mean what I do doesn't really affect her so –

'Just tell me.'

I just … well, I had to see her for a detention see and I thought she'd be in her classroom but she wasn't so I was just about to leave when I saw this book on her desk and I know I shouldn't of and I know I was interfering but I couldn't help it and I opened it and God oh God it was a diary, her diary from when she must have been at school and I didn't even read it but she was there she'd come in she was there and she saw me and she was angry, was she angry? And she barely even looked at me she barely even spoke to me and I felt so awful but I was too scared to apologize and I know she thinks nothing of me and I hate it so much.'

I took a gasping breath and looked at Ginny, her expression was unreadable but her eyes were wide as if taking what I'd said in, while I was on the brink of tears not wanting to release them in case it really did look like I had a thing for my transfiguration teacher when I knew how obscene it was.

'Well, I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it really is,' Ginny said, 'if you're feeling so bad just apologize, I have to doubt that she's losing sleep over it.'

'Okay,' I said, 'okay I'll, I'll just apologize right? Alright, will you come with me?'

'Of course I'll come with you, I'll come with you to the hospital wing too if you want; we could get you something to make you seem normal.'

'Again, you're really just so witty.'

I allowed her to guide me down the twisting staircase to her - Minerva ... Minerva McGonagall's - office and with every step I could feel my heartbeat grow louder and faster and heavier.

The oak door stood before me and all I wanted to do was run away but Ginny knocked loudly on the door before I had the chance.

'Come in,' her voice was sharp without being angry though it still made me shiver. Ginny gave me a little push and I tip-toed into the room like a naughty school child - I was a naughty school child.

'Oh, Miss Granger we've learnt the value of knocking I see,' I cringed beneath my robes - she evidently wasn't joking.

'Well, I ... I just -

'It's a good thing you came actually; I don't think those extra lessons were a very good idea, you must have enough on your plate without me.' My chest tightened, her presence was intoxicating enough alone but I felt so guilty and before I could control them thick tears poured down my flushed cheeks. I covered my face and stared at the ground feeling more and more ridiculous by the second.

'Shh,' I jumped and looked up surprised by her being at such a close proximity, 'why are you crying, what's wrong.'

'Nothing, I'm an idiot it's nothing.'

'You're not an idiot.' She said so simply and sweetly. She lent towards me, she was so close her hair tickled my face. She wrapped her arms round me tightly and I think I stopped breathing. I couldn't her anything but my heart beating, I was so scared she'd think something of it.

I heard the sudden loud sound of her classroom door opening and felt her back muscles tense. I fell out of her embrace and turned to see Ginny open mouthed at the door, 'erm, sorry' she said and left quickly.

I bent down and grabbed the bag that I'd dropped, 'I'm going to...erm thanks I ... well bye.' I stuttered pathetically and half ran to that bloody door. I'd already shut it when I heard her say a muffled, 'bye,' to the empty room.

Ginny had vanished from sight and my mind filled with the conclusions she could draw from the scene she'd witnessed, she'd hate me if she knew the truth.


End file.
